Prince William and his fiance, Kate, have announced that they won’t be hiring any servants after they’re married in April.
No maids, no butler, no chauffeur.

“That’s right,” says the Prince. “Just plain folks, that’s us.
“And call me Bill.”

So Prince Wi…
Uh, Bill, right now, your home in Wales is too small, anyway.

“So we’re used to living by ourselves already.”

But what happens if the Queen gives you a bigger place? Even a bungalow?

“A bungalow,” chimes in Kate. “What’s a bungalow?”

“Smallish home,” the Prince tells her. “You might have seen one,”

You won’t mind the dusting?


The vacuuming?


At least once a week.


And, if you have kids, Bill doesn’t mind picking up disposable diapers?

“Not at all. Just ring up Harrod’s.”

I was thinking that you might have to hop in the SUV and get them yourself.

“SUV. You mean one of those box-like thingies?”

Well, they don’t look anything like a Rolls or Bentley.

“And you say I’d have to drive myself.”

No chauffeur.

“Right. Just plain folks. Well, I think I can do that.”

Mow the lawn.

“I can do that, too.”

Take out the garbage.

“Just plain folks.

Do the laundry.


Kate looks distressed.

Prepare the meals.

“That too?”

Kate is flustered now.

“Maybe we can have one servant.”

“A chauffeur,” says Bill.

“Two, then,” notes Kate.

“And a gardener.”

“And someone to do the dusting and vacuuming.”

“We’ll also need a nanny.”

“Find someplace bigger than a bungalow, whatever that is.”

“But we’ll be just plain folks, rest assured.”