I’m a dog.
What makes you so sure?
Well, when I come when my owner calls, I’m a good dog. If I eat my morning or evening meal, I’m a good dog.
But it gets complicated. When I chase a squirrel, or pee in the front hall. Then, I’m a bad dog. So, I’m either good or bad. The one consistent thing is dog.
So you must be…
Yep, I’m a dog.
Any idea what breed?
There must be hundreds. I don’t know what I am. All I know is what I’m not. For instance, I’m not a border collie. No way I want to chase after a ball all day.
Not a German shepherd either; not as methodical or organized.
Not a chihuahua?
Too small.
Not a Great Dane.
Too tall.
Not a greyhound.
Too thin.
Not a bulldog.
Too fat.
Not a pit bull.
I’m too nice.
Not a poodle?
Come on. Do I look like a poodle?
So what does a dog like you do?
Sleep. I sleep all morning. I get up, pee outside. Then,…
Then?
I sleep. But I wake up. have a bite to eat. Then…
Then?
I sleep. After a while, I find a new place, and there,..
Let me guess. You…
Sleep. Get up, take another pee. Sleep. Wake for water. Sleep.
At night I sleep. The next day, I do it all over again.
And that’s all you do?
It’s a dog’s life.
You’re happy with that?
I guess it could be more exciting. I’d really like to catch a squirrel. One day.
But you’re out now. No squirrels here. None that I can see.
My owner is determined that I get some exercise. So here we are at this leash free dog park. Probably all the squirrels know better than to hang around.
What’s the attraction?
Lots to sniff . Trees, bushes, bums. It’s good to meet other dogs. Like you.
Yep, I’m a dog, too. I run, break up fights. Here often?
Most days.
Yeah? You like it then.
I do. I just walk around, mind my own business and occasionally do my business, if you know what I mean. But you know what I like most of all?
No, what?
I’m among my brothers and sisters. I’ve learned that male dogs are my brothers; female dogs are my sisters.
Look around. There are all these different dogs. Big ones, small ones; white ones, black ones; short haired, long haired, but we’re all dogs.
One dog under the skin.
Time to go. I hear my owner calling me. I’m going to be a good dog.
