Aren’t you the Pat Boone of Hip-Hop?

Me? I guess so, but what does that mean?

Pat Boone recorded a lot of rock and roll songs that were the clean, sexless alternative to rock and roll that was raunchier, more sexy and performed by black musicians.  The real stuff.

Hold it, my stuff is real.

Think so? Boone had no feeling for rock and roll. He didn’t understand it. Otherwise, he never would have done  Tutti Frutti.

Well, I understand it. Give me a beat and I’ll give you rhymes. UH, what’s Tutti Frutti about?

Gay sex in disguise.

See? That’s why I’m needed. I rap about wholesome things. Like bling. You gotta have a job to afford those watches and jewellry.  The cars, the champagne. It don’t come easy. Put the guns away. Do you think any of those rappers have all that, or does it come out only for the video?

They wouldn’t have much to brag about if they didn’t

Hos are women. They don’t need to shake their booty. Uh, what’s a booty?

One of the reasons you’re the Pat Boone of Hip-Hop..

Like, a booty is an ass. Are you saying I’m an ass?

No. I’m saying you’re late. The language, the gestures, the image – the entire culture – is old.  Like  it stems from when rock and roll was called the devil’s music. The devil just bided his time. There’s less for him to do now.